When Europeans hear the term “American high school,” I imagine that they picture three things: football, money, and Texas.
Jude Cloud had all of that.
He went to one of the most affluent high schools in Texas. He played football. He supported Donald Trump. And he did it all to survive high school.
Becoming wealthy, like the parents of his peers, was something aspirational for him. His classmates’ lives were markedly different from his own. They were rich; he was “super poor," he said.
“I wanted to make it,” he told BuzzFeed. “In order to fit in, it was like, ‘If you’re not a Republican, if you’re not a conservative, if you don’t have these values, you’re weak. You’re a pussy.’”
As he came of age in this uber-conservative environment, he developed what he called “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” ideals. He was against welfare. He went door-to-door campaigning for a MAGA congressperson. He hated the idea of “big government” and handouts.
“My mom worked two, three jobs so I could go to my school. There were weeks in high school where I didn’t have, like, running water at home or power, but I still would’ve argued against welfare and handouts,” Cloud explained to BuzzFeed.
Cloud bought into the "American Dream" wholesale. He wanted to grow up, work hard, and be rewarded with the financial success politicians like Trump promised in his new America.
In a viral video, Cloud, better known as @judercloud to his 57,000 Instagram followers, talks about how excited he was to share these opinions and his wealth of knowledge with his then-girlfriend, who would later become the mother of his child.
"I remember I was so excited to talk to her about politics, 'cause I was like, 'Oh, she's gonna hear everything I have to say, and she's gonna think I'm so smart, she's gonna be so impressed by, like, my knowledge and philosophy, whatever.'"
When the time came for Cloud to unveil what he believed to be his big-brained political beliefs and ideas to his then-partner, her response was short and swift:
"Holy shit, you sound so dumb."
She continued, saying, "You sound like a terrible person, like a bad person, like the things you're saying are the things that a bad and evil person would say."
In his video, he says, "I was like, 'Oh, huh, interesting,' and I stepped back, and I thought about why I believed the things that I did, and tried to think, 'Yeah, would a kind person believe these things?'"
The answer he came to was no. These conservative beliefs were not in line with the type of life he wanted to lead. That of a kind, good person.
So, he started to work through deconstructing those beliefs.
Now, at 24, he calls himself a queer leftist (or “terribly woke” as he’s put it) who posts about gender, sexism, and empathy.
That video has now been viewed over 1.2 million times, garnered almost 9,000 reposts, and has over 2,000 comments, many of which call Cloud’s story “hopecore.”
In the comments, former conservatives shared their own stories about deconstructing.
They pointed out the importance of critical thinking and questioning your beliefs.
Many commenters also appreciated the moment when Cloud decided to step back and reflect on his girlfriend's words, rather than digging in further and becoming defensive. Cloud said this decision was a natural one.
He told BuzzFeed, “This girl — I just loved her. I thought the world of her, I still do. Her challenging me aggressively in the way she did, using harsh language, was needed. I think too often we’re worried about being politically correct and trying to play nice with everyone. People don’t understand you can be respectful while also saying things exactly as they are.”
In Cloud’s comments, there was another sentiment that kept popping up, too: “Of course a woman had to save the day.”
"Unfortunately, that's where we are," he told BuzzFeed. "We don't have that many men that we can just inherently trust to lead with empathy. The fix is once men learn, they [should] be empowered to keep on spreading those kinds of words. That's why I post. The shit I do is to show that men can and should be talking about this, too."
He says his entire reason for even posting that viral video was born out of a sentiment to lead by example and empower fellow men to change and grow.
He ends his video by saying, "It's okay to grow up, and it's okay to hold yourself accountable for being wrong… It's okay to say, 'Hey, I was wrong. I saw that in the incorrect way. I'm sorry, and I'll do better, and I'll commit to grow. I commit to keep growing and to keep getting better.'"
He finished, "I was a libertarian and a Republican in 2020, and now I'm so far from that, and I just hope this reaches people who currently think that it is manly and strong and impressive…to be a conservative and to actively support the oppression of more than half of our country. Um, yeah, you can change, you can get better. It's strong and cool and macho to give a shit about other people."
Comments